None of us move through the world in isolation. We all carry histories, our nervous systems, familial and cultural narratives, and the strategies we unconsciously adopted to get by into every single room we enter.

If we want to be better at being human with each other, we have to understand the systems we’re human inside of –– internally, in our relationships, and the larger social, political, and cultural systems we all live and work in. Those systems impact our choices and behaviors as we navigate life, often unconsciously, and it requires deep work to break out default patterns and learn what is really ours to carry.

I’m thrilled to have returning guest, J.S. Park, back to the show to discuss his new book, We Are Made of Us, and do a deep dive into the journey of family systems and how they shape us.

J.S. Park, MDiv, BCC, is a hospital chaplain whose roles include grief counseling, attending deaths, assisting with end-of-life care, and patient and family advocacy. His work has been featured on CNN, NPR, Today, and Good Morning America, among others. J.S. also served for three years as a chaplain at one of the largest nonprofit charities for the unhoused on the East Coast. He has a sixth-degree black belt and is the author of several books, including The Voices We Carry, As Long As You Need, and We Are Made of Us. He lives in Tampa, Florida, with his wife and two children.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How J.S.’s work as a hospital chaplain illuminated the ways we exist in systems and their capacity to hurt and to heal us
• What he’s learned about holding space and compassion for people to be bad at grief
• Why J.S. believes that people being able to feel and express grief is a justice issue
• Why he has let go of the expectation that he should be regulated all the time in his work
• How he approaches rupture and repair in his interactions with patient

Learn more about J.S. Park:

• Instagram: @jspark3000
• Bluesky: @jspark3000.bsky.social
• Substack: @jspark
• We Are Made of Us: Uncovering Our Hidden Family Dynamics, Rewriting Our Stories, and Returning to Ourselves

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• The Unburdened Leader on Substack
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• Constructing the Sexual Crucible: An Integration of Sexual and Marital Therapy, David Schnarch
• What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma, Stephanie Foo
• The Autobiography of Malcolm X, MALCOLM X
• “Golden,”  KPop Demon Hunters
• The Odyssey
• Widow’s Bay
• Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story
• Paddington