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Most leaders go through a period where they take stock of the trappings of the life they believe they are “supposed” to live. They examine the assumptions they’ve made, the choices they’ve fallen into, and the circumstances that have shaped their stories.

And they realize—however painfully—that it all needs to be torn down. I’ve been there, too. Brick by brick, they dismantle the details of their lives so that they can carefully and intentionally rebuild.

It takes real courage to lead yourself through a season of dismantling.

And, no, not the Mel Gibson Braveheart courage. But the quiet courage that keeps you putting one foot in front of the other. The unseen courage that chooses a life of uncertainty versus maintaining the status quo of tolerating, doubt, and shame.

It’s not easy to reassess the choices that have gotten you to where you’re at. But without paying close attention to how you’ve ended up merely tolerating the status quo, you can’t ever lift the burdens that keep you from being the leader you want to be.

You have to go through it, not around it.

No matter how cliché, it’s the truth.

My guest today has been through the process of examining and dismantling the details of her life so she could really lead. If you don’t know Ally Fallon, you need to. Ally writes books, helps people write books, and believes a regular practice of writing can change your life. She is the author of 12 books (and counting), is a sought-after public speaker, and a coach to hundreds of authors from New York TimesBestsellers to total beginners. She has spent the last decade coaching hundreds of people to gain confidence, overcome writer’s block, and get their stories on paper.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How the dismantling of Ally’s marriage led to a deep season of questioning that moved her towards her unburdening and living an unburdened life
  • How Ally took the time to become skilled at witnessing and honoring the wisdom of her own pain emotionally and physically
  • Why writing, relationships, and the movement of yoga were anchors in the wilderness of her dismantling

Learn more about Ally Fallon:

Learn more about Rebecca:

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meet the founder

I’m Rebecca Ching, LMFT.

I help change-making leaders get to the root of recurring struggles and get confidently back on track with your values, your vision, and your bottom line. 

I combine psychotherapeutic principles, future-forward coaching, and healthy business practices to meet the unique needs and challenges of highly-committed leaders in a high-stakes world.

This is unburdened leadership

EP 29: Frank Anderson, MD – Challenging the Fear of Rejection and Leading with Vulnerability – Part 2

Everybody’s carrying a burden that’s weighing them down. If you dare to care, it is inevitable you will end up carrying the burdens from grief, betrayal, and rejection. And these burdens are often unseen. These invisible struggles fuel loneliness, shame, and despair. Eventually, the unaddressed burdens we carry start to impact our ability to live […]


EP 27: Frank Anderson, MD – Challenging the Fear of Rejection and Leading with Vulnerability – Part 1

We watch leaders crash & burn all the time. We watch with morbid fascination as leaders fall out of grace because their unaddressed pain led them on an unsustainable path of poor choices–even dangerous and deadly choices–to avoid feeling the vulnerability of rejection. Those times when you experienced the pain of rejection leave their mark […]


EP 21: Leading With Body Resilience with Co-Author of More Than A Body, Lindsay Kite, PhD

Caring about those you lead means caring about the harm you may unknowingly be doing. Many of us who fit western standards of beauty and live in conventionally abled bodies don’t understand how our choices can cause pain. We’ve internalized ableism and fat-phobia to the point where we can’t even grasp how our words & […]

Mental Well-being

EP 19: Defining Your Own Version Success with Natalie Borton, Founder of Natalie Borton Designs

The quickest way to crash and burn your business and life is to place your worthiness and safety with the opinions of others. This may sound like a captain-obvious statement but the pull to care what others think is something fierce. And it is sneaky. The competitive drive is no stranger to many of you. […]

Work-life Integration

EP 17: Community Over Competition with Co-Founder of The Rising Tide Society Natalie Franke

Community over competition is indeed a well-worn hashtag. The cynical can dismiss it. Those beat up by year after year of injustice understandably call BS. But in practice, leading with the lens of community over competition is subversive and culture-shifting. Community over competition requires deep life-long work to unburden the load we carry of scarcity […]

Leading Teams

EP 02: How Self-Leadership Saves You From The Relentless Drive To Succeed with Dr. Richard Schwartz

My body was telling me to take a step back and reevaluate. Five years ago I had pneumonia and I couldn’t really do anything other than prop myself up on the couch and breathe… …breathe and think about how I ended up in this mess I’d run myself into the ground. My schedule was full-to-overflowing. […]


And clearing the way for a more innovative, inclusive future.

Unburdened Leaders are breaking
cycles of workplace burnout…

Are you about this, too? Let’s meet and see if I’m your coach – no expectations. Just connection.