There is a well-known cognitive phenomenon that we are all susceptible to, and even more so when we’re stressed. And we’re all at least a little stressed and overwhelmed right now.
The illusory truth effect catches us when we repeatedly hear statements and begin to assume they are true through repetition and familiarity. Things feel true, even if they couldn’t be further from it. Research has shown that sheer repetition can even override facts when we know better.
Naming–systems, feelings, what we’re witnessing, what’s missing, what’s wrong–is a powerful antidote to the illusory truth effect. Naming forces us to slow down. It interrupts the repetition. We can’t meaningfully talk about integrity, values, courage, or innovation if we refuse to look directly at what is.
My guest today reminds us that we can’t disrupt what we can’t name. And we can’t heal what stays vague.
Soraya Chemaly is an award-winning author and activist. As a cultural critic, she writes and speaks frequently about gender norms, social justice, free speech, sexualized violence, politics, and technology. The former Executive Director of The Representation Project and Director and co-founder of the Women’s Media Center Speech Project, she has long been committed to expanding women’s civic and political participation.
Her most recent book, All We Want is Everything: How We Dismantle Male Supremacy, has been called “a potent rallying cry for a beleaguered feminist movement.” In it, she challenges dearly held beliefs about gender and equality today, drawing clear lines between the dynamics of intimate inequality and global anti-feminist, anti-democratic backlash and machofascism.
Content warning: Discussion of details of the video footage leading up to Renee Good’s murder, less-detailed discussion of sexual and gender-based violence and harassment
Listen to the full episode to hear:
- Why we need to name systems clearly and specifically in order to challenge them
- How male supremacy encompasses concepts of sexism, misogyny, and patriarchy and frames them as part of a larger hierarchical system
- How we’re witnessing DARVO play out at scale in our government and media, as well as in personal interactions
- How deepfakes use the pervasive threat of sexual violence against women to dehumanize and enforce subjugation
- How women play roles in passing on and enforcing male supremacy
- How “the boy crisis” reinforces norms of masculinity at the expense of girls and women
- Why big tent politics that asks everyone but cis, straight men to give up fundamental rights cannot be a yardstick of success
Learn more about Soraya Chemaly:
- Website
- Instagram: @sorayachemaly
- All We Want is Everything: How We Dismantle Male Supremacy
- Subscribe to Unmanned
Learn more about Rebecca:
- rebeccaching.com
- Work With Rebecca
- The Unburdened Leader on Substack
- Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email
Resources:
- Dechêne, A., Stahl, C., Hansen, J., & Wänke, M.. The Truth About the Truth: A Meta-Analytic Review of the Truth Effect. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 14(2), 238-257
- Pennycook, G., Cannon, T. D., & Rand, D. G. (2018). Prior exposure increases perceived accuracy of fake news. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 147(12), 1865–1880
- Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman
- Fazio, L. K., Brashier, N. M., Payne, B. K., & Marsh, E. J. (2015). Knowledge does not protect against illusory truth. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 144(5), 993–1002.
- EP 96: Rage to Action: The Leading Power of Women’s Anger with Soraya Chemaly
- EP 117: Rethinking Resilience: Moving from Bouncing Back to Relational Resilience with Soraya Chemaly
- Jennifer Joy Freyd, PhD.
- What is DARVO ? | Jennifer Joy Freyd, PhD.
- 11. Boy Crisis Asides and the Invisible People and Power Living in Them | Unmanned
- Afterlives, Abdulrazak Gurnah
- Radiohead – Creep
- I’d Love to Change the World – Ten Years After
- Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight
- Blondie
- The Beginning Comes After the End: Notes on a World of Change, Rebecca Solnit







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